Can we talk about how much I hated "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"?

They say movies require us to suspend disbelief or judgment in exchange for the promise of entertainment. Maybe that was my problem with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Except I feel like I'm pretty good at suspending disbelief; just look at my love life. Oh no, that's called denial. Oh, wait, no, people apparently call that "love." Anyway.
From the first scenes I was scoffing. I found the hospital dialogue to be especially forced and trite. And those accents. I understand that they were supposed to be in New Orleans, but then why didn't the daughter (played rather dully by Julia Ormond), who was also raised there, have a southern accent? My suspension of disbelief was immediately broken.
That left me to sit through the next THREE hours of the movie mentally tacking every thing I hated. From the random blind clockmaker story (which although matched the feel and philosophy of the movie made zero plot advancement) to the inane amount of time recounting events ("and if she had just left one minute earlier, and if he has not stopped for that. . .") I sincerely hated this movie.
Now, let me explain this. Did I hate the movie? OH GOD, YES. Do I think it was a bad movie? No. I get it. Sweeping cinematography, big name actors in period costumes and lots of make up, an original storyline- I understand how people liked this movie. Apparently the folks over at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences loved it, as it has been nominated for 13 Oscar's.
But I must admit that both Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt did look especially lovely in this film. From Blanchett's young days as a dancer to Pitt's days in the 1960's (ladies, see: Pitt riding a motorcycle with aviator sunglasses on) the Hollywood starlets were breathtakingly beautiful.

So, if you have an afternoon to kill and can buy into what this movie is selling you, by all means, see this film. If you're like me and have a tendency to laugh at inappropriate times when you're feeling skeptical, then skip The Curious Case. Or see it and then post a ranting blog about how much you hated it. Check and check.